Milo and I planned to go to the city next week. We made the pan months ago when I signed up for a week long intensive improvisation training at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater (UCB). I lined everything up, made plans with friends, family, work partners, and dates. It looked like a really, really good week. I have looked forward to it for months now.
But, when I came home to the community from Florida this past Tuesday, and…
On Wednesday I spent a good portion of the day playing and working outside without a shirt on! Sure the ground had snow all over it still, but the sun felt warm, and everywhere you could feel the buzz of life burgeoning beneath the drip-drip-drip of a winter in retreat. I could feel life ready to, well, spring! I could feel the call to action burning in my own body after a long cold winter.
Suddenly, I started questioning my perfect week to the city! I worried that I would miss something unnamable, something sacred. So, I did what any Western male would do. I used cold, feelingless logic. I tried to make sense of my spirit’s leading to stay present with the land by weighing the pros and cons of either choice. I found myself trying to find reasons to stay, but then trying to find reasons to go. And, I kept finding them.
I have an obscenely sweet life. Both choices looked better and better the more I looked at them!
Since I had an assignment in my coding course (that @drew turned me onto via habitrgp challenge) to make a table with pictures, I decided to use it to do a little opportunity assessment…
While I learned and laughed a lot making it, this table did exactly nothing to help me make my decision. Nor did any of the conversations I had with any of the people I know and love who know and love me.
New possibilities just kept cropping up. I kept seeing how either choice would enrich my life, further my intentions, and create possibilities.
What do I hold as most important? What do you do when you want to do everything? What do you do when you can do anything? What do you do when you have to make a choice between two heartfelt paths?
While I rolled back and forth about what to do, @madhatter showed actual agility. Milo, after planning to go to the city for a couple months now, got clear in himself that he preferred to stay in the community next week. Milo had a clarity around his intentions. He wanted to stay up and do more traditional school work up here, rather than head to the city and play video games. For Milo, this week, literature, human sexuality education, music production and snowboarding come before going to the city and playing board games and video games with his friends at ALCNYC.
So, now, I will stay upstate. Hold Cloudhouse with Milo, work on my tiny house, study coding, work on ALF-Summer, plant seeds, put in some hours at the ALbany Coop, and play outside with the sweet spring sunlight on my furry torso!
As for Maine, well… entirely unrealistic adventures only happen when you hold the possibility. As for Maine, well…